Blokes On Soaps

Ian Beale keeps it real with plans to release his autobiography, and explains just how and why it would be a best seller

“Do you know what, this takes me back to when I was a budding chef. I used to have to go round to my Grans to do all my cooking, make my shepherds pie and stuff. I should write my autobiography. It would be an inspiration to young entrepreneurs everywhere. I mean, they wouldn’t just benefit from my career experience. There’s my wealth of life experience as well.”

Ian then keeps it even more real by indicating just what a bible of advice the Beale Biography could be when he begins quoting this unwritten book to help Masood out of the spot of bother he is in financially

“So you’ve got a cashflow propblem. Does Zainab know about this temporary blip? Mas, Mas, Mas. In business, as in marriage, honesty is the key to unlocking the door to success. Ian Beale – Life in Food, Chapter One. I think you should be honest with your wife. But then again, being honest with your wife never was your strongpoint was it?”

Ian Beale is Walfords most successful man. To build an empire the likes of which he owns, you have to be brutally upfront with people, tell it like it is and most importantly of all take no rubbish. In these times of recession, most blokes will look to a man like Bealey to shower them with advice as to how they can be as much of a triumphant story as he is. At Blokes on Soaps we have decided it is high time to record these soundbites straight from the mouth of the fish shop king as a reminder and a guide to those looking to make the most of their lot

Ian Beale keeps it real on what he deems to be unsuitable attributes for a girlfriend for his son:

“I don’t want my son going out with that skank. She’s been fiddled with a pedo OK, she’s living with a woman who collects kids for fun, I mean Jeremy Kyle, even he’d turn his nose up at her. If in someway her breaking his heart addresses his taste in women then great”